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Woman Gives Birth to Bouncing Baby Gecko

lizard-baby

We movie goers already know life is kinda weird (and possibly short) in Indonesia right now, as evidenced by recent cinema like the OUCH-inducing “Raid” movies (go….see…them). But when it comes to this story…I got nuthin’.

Here’s the long and the short of it: Debi Nubatonis went to see a midwife, to all signs eight months pregnant and going into early labor. Prepped and ready, with all the expected ick coming out, there didn’t appear to actually be any baby up in there. But there was a lizard.

So, the assumption is that this woman was experiencing pseudocyesis, or phantom pregnancy, and an extremely rare case of it at that, advancing all the way to the birth stages. And one would assume that this gecko just managed to dart up on the table in the middle of all the confusion. But the midwife didn’t think so and apparently authorities there aren’t too sure themselves, as they have launched an official investigation. I’m not entirely sure how you run that sort of investigation. What, do you interview men she was intimate with to make sure none of them were actually Willie from the original “V” miniseries or one of David Icke’s Alpha Draconians?

As the Chief Medical Officer of nearby Kupang City, Indonesia said, “Childbirth of another species has never been reported in science”. This hasn’t stopped neighbors of poor Debi from claiming that she and her family are ‘witches’. Is that generally an end goal for magic users? I mean, even supposing you’re up to no good and Satan (or whatever) is totally backing your plays, what possible use would having a gecko child instead of a regular one be? Oh, sure, it’s a lizard, BUT IT’S AN EVIL LIZARD, BWA HA HA! I’m thinking the Willie theory has more weight to it. Or, you know, human error and a typically fast gecko. Whichever.